The Ultimate Guide to ‘No Contact Rule’
In the past, I have purposefully stayed away from friends or relationships that turned toxic. When I mean stay away, I am not talking about giving the other person space or being less friendly. I am talking about cutting them off totally! It’s not always so easy to achieve but sometimes you realize it’s the best, to avoid the emotional roller coaster and hurt they cause each time.
I have been applying the NO CONTACT RULE even before I knew it was called such. I have read and heard a lot about how many people out there opt for the no contact rule. From my perception of what I’ve seen and heard, ninety percent of people settle for the ‘No Contact Rule’ to win back their Ex. While this may work, it is not always the best idea to have in mind when opting for the NO Contact Rule, I will tell you why and scenarios NO CONTACT RULE is the best.
WHY YOU SHOULDN’T USE THE NO CONTACT RULE TO WIN BACK AN EX:
After a break up, even if you are the ‘dumped’ or the ‘dumper’, telling yourself you are not going to contact your ex if they don’t contact you will not allow you heal or get better. It will only keep you sitting by the phone and make your heart race with every rings and beeps from your mobile gadget.
Don’t see the NO CONTACT RULE as a means to punish your Ex, make them miss you and come running back to you. Even if you think there is a chance for you two to get back together, focus on the time you are apart to rethink things.
What if your Ex never contacts you but went ahead to date other people? Then you would have spent weeks waiting for a call or text that would never have arrived. It’s not so easy not to think NO CONTACT CAN HELP WIN BACK AN EX, especially when you still have strong emotions for them but when you make this your primary focus, you may end up getting more hurt.
WHEN YOU SHOULD APPLY THE NO CONTACT RULE:
When you find yourself in a toxic relationship. It can be that you are being emotionally, verbally or physically abused. When you finally find the guts or chance to break up, sometimes an Ex would want to stay friends after the break up (why should you stay friends with an EX though? This is a topic for another day), if an Ex falls in this category, it’s a NO NO, someone who does not respect you when in a relationship will do no better at being a good friend.
You are not a bad person if you decide to cut them off from your life completely and keep them out until you are genuinely convinced they are a better person.
ANOTHER REASON YOU SHOULD USE THE NO CONTACT RULE:
An Ex that wouldn’t just go away. This looks very familiar right? We have all probably had that Ex that wouldn’t just go away after a break up. They are usually two types in this category: the first will want to stay friends and so close it almost feels you are still dating. Second are those that will breeze into your life once in a while (at the oddest moment) to ‘test the waters’, they will tell you they miss you and other sweet things then disappear, then they reappear again.
HOW LONG SHOULD THE NO CONTACT RULE LAST?
There is no time frame for no contact rule. And there is no rule that says you should call your Ex after ’30’ or ’90’ days’ like most people believe. You are supposed to avoid all forms of communication to get over an Ex and figure things out. Even when you would not like to put an Ex out of your life completely because you think you can make good friends, then give yourself time to come to terms with this fact – it can take weeks, months or even years to feel you can finally face an Ex again. Just give yourself, you will surely feel better.